the thing about pon farr is that it is completely deadly, violent, only cured by sex or kolinahr and is something that spock must deal with. And yet we only see spock experience it the one time, and spock doesn’t complete kolinahr or have any relationships outside jim in tos and the movies (removing relationships created via sex pollen, becoming feral, or other dubious causes)
so following this trend, jim and spock went through all his pon farrs together (ignoring the pon farr on the genesis planet where his soul wasn’t present, so it doesn’t count) and for vulcans this is basically marriage
space husbands really isn’t debatable at this point
Today I want to address the age-old question: do Vulcans have sex ouside of Pon Farr? I know this question is extremely important to many of us because reasons. So let’s take a look at what we know.
Pon Farr is a seven-year cycle that male Vulcans must go through in which they must mate, otherwise, they are overcome by a blood fever and die. During this time, animalistic instinct overwhelms the logical thought processes that Vulcans value so highly. The matter is therefore considered highly private. According to Spock in ‘Amok Time,’ “It is a thing no outworlder may know, except those very few who have been involved. A Vulcan understands, but even we do not speak of it among ourselves. It is a deeply personal thing.”
Despite this, we come to learn that there are others in the Star Trek universe who are aware of Pon Farr, although they seem to have some understandable misconceptions about the process: specifically, that it is the only time Vulcans can mate. For example, in the episode “The Cloud Minders,” Droxine brings up the topic during her short-lived flirtation with Mr. Spock.
“You only take a mate once every seven years?”
“The seven-year cycle is biologically inherent in all Vulcans. At that time, the mating drive outweighs all other motivations,” he replies, not answering her question at all.
“And is there nothing that can disturb that cycle, Mr. Spock?
Extreme feminine beauty is always disturbing, Madam.”
Interesting. Here, Spock basically admits to being attracted to Droxine outside of his cycle. Notice how he says he is disturbed by “extreme feminine beauty,” going out of his way to compliment Droxine. Also notice that he does not say that feminine beauty is the only thing that he would find disruptive.
From this exchange, we can infer that Vulcans do experience sexual attraction. As with all illogical feelings, they usually make the choice to suppress it. Compare this philosophy to Spock’s suppression of his pain in ‘Operation Annihilate’:
“Pain is a thing of the mind. The mind can be controlled.“
Pain is not an emotion, but Vulcans still endeavor to suppress it. It is a physiological reaction, much in the same way as sexual desire. It is logical to assume that attraction is dismissed in a similar manner,
This philosophy is confirmed by Harry Mudd in the episode “Mudd’s Women.” He asks, “You’re part Vulcanian, aren’t you? Well then, a pretty face doesn’t affect you at all, does it? That is, not unless you want it to.”
So we know that Vulcans experience sexual desire. But do they do the sex?
There is nothing to suggest they are incapable of sex outside of the seven-year cycle. In fact, Mr. Spock is vaguely implied to have had sex with Leila in “This Side of Paradise” and Zarabeth in “All Our Yesterdays.” In both instances, he was overcome by emotion due to outside forces, but his overall biology remained the same.
So yes, Vulcans can have sex outside of Pon Farr.
Whether or not they do is another matter entirely. There are risks to sex, and it would be illogical to engage in a risky activity simply for temporary sensual gratification.
Spock, on the other hand, is half-human. And if he were to put aside Vulcan conventions for the sake of a particular human and their shared emotional connection…
